OH WELL HELLO.
Did you honestly think I would fail so soon?! No way no how. So as I mentioned very recently I went to West Virginia. [I feel the need to defend myself slash explain myself.] YOU know…because…well, West Virginia? (NO OFFENSE WEST VIRGINIA…) Anyways. I
gave myself took off a couple days and my pretty parents came up and we all rented a little condo and skied! Unfortunately this did not go 100% to plan. First off, I drove right through a snow storm with NO RECEPTION for the last couple hours! I know that I was alive in the TBC (time before cells), but holy hell it is nerve wracking as hell driving through a snow storm slash up a mountain slash back down said mountain slash in a completely backwards crazy place with no proper signs or streetlights. ANYWAYS I made it there alive but not before giving both of my parents a complete aneurism based on the fear of losing their favorite only daughter. The next morning we woke up early and got SO bundled up we were all having hot flashes before making it to the elevator out of the condo. Yadda yadda yadda, we buy more snow gear and continue to sweat the lbs away and get our skiing equipment. (In case you’re wondering how I feel about snowboarding…it’s fine and I’ve tried it several times and I respect people that can do it, I, however, am much better at skiing soooo I’d rather spend my time going dangerously fast down a hill on skis than a snowboard).
So fast forward and we are finally outside in the freezing West Virginia blizzard air and snow falling and grey skies and we zoom down the hill and we’re loosenin’ up our legs and feelin pretty good so we get to the bottom of the hill and we head over to the ski lift and hop on and I even take out my phone on the ski lift and take a few selfies, a few pics of my parentals and even some of the foreshadowing-ly grey sky.
(See? Told ya.)
And then. It happened. We got off the ski lift and somehow my parents got tangled up and were THOSE people that fell right in front of it and of course they had to turn off the lift and my mom kept saying “Get off my leg, get off my leg!” HERE’S THE TROUBLE WITH THAT Y’ALL…my dad wasn’t on my mom’s leg. She was draped over him with one of her legs facing the wrong direction. So that was a thing. A very bad thing that happened. After she finally came to terms with the fact that she wasn’t going to be able to stand on it (stubborn one, she is), she was toted off in one of those little sled things the rescue hippies drag behind them and we went to have a stoner mountain rescue man explain to her how he couldn’t be 100% sure what her injury was. AND I QUOTE, “Could be broken. Could be sprained. Not really sure…I don’t have x-ray vision.” THANK YOU. Your insight has truly been eye-opening and forced us to truly reflect on her recent injuries. No but in all seriousness the little stoner mountain people were nice and relaxed so that was probably good for her instead of panicking her. After that we drove down the mountain to see a nearby doctor (in a trailor – NO JUDGEMENT TO TRAILERS YALL) and yadda yadda yadda, x-ray came back showing a plateau fracture in her knee. So that was followed by crutches and her staying in the hotel room yelling at my dad and I that she wouldn’t be responsible for ruining our ski trip and that we HAD to go out skiing that night and the next day before I left to head back to work.
So we did and it was lovely but HOLY HELL it was freezing. I was bundled up to the max and still couldn’t be out for more than an hour and a half tops before taking a break in warmth. At the bottom of the mountain it said it felt like negative ten so I can’t imagine what it said the weather was at the top of the mountain. (And I’ll never truly know since there was no reception, sigh.)
I had one major wipe out the next day where I tumbled sideways down the mountain and my skis were bouncing all over the place (bless those helmets). I was slightly terrified since a girl I know had just recently come back from a ski trip with staples in her noggin from another person’s skis slicing (bolded for true impact 😉 hah) through her head. But I ended up being okay, despite the dramatics of my legs and skis bouncing all the way down the mountain (again, bless helmets).
My parents ended up going home a day early and left that beautiful mountain when I did…GPS and reception make zero sense to me and for some reason it had be take a completely (but same amount of time?) different route back that was actually beautiful and I would’ve loved to be the passenger so I could get some amazing pictures…but alas, the scenery will only live on in my memories 🙂 My mom had an appointment with an orthopedic surgeon the next day and yadda yadda yadda she now has surgery tomorrow.
If you’re into positive thoughts, or vibes, or prayers, or any of the above, please send some her way! I know she’s already going crazy being stuck in the house and unable to put any weight on her leg, but I’m trying to wait until she gets really, really stir crazy before I send her a care package or cruise down for a visit.
I had to share this little bit of comedy to lighten up the downer-ness that is this post. Little kids are so funny – assuming a little kid did this?! – and if an adult did this I still love it just as much. Hardy-har-har!